Repulse Monkey

In the flow this morning. Why is it that some mornings it comes easily and other mornings i struggle to learn new movements? In turning, with arms swinging, i felt like a dancer. Only two-thirds the way through class did i work out in which direction to step backwards. what a difference it made! Experiencing nerve pain in my right leg and some cramping in right foot. is something working loose here?

Do things change . . .

. . . when you start to practice Tai Chi?

"Of course. But it is up to you
whether you choose to listen
to the voice of the all-pervading intelligence."

i noticed i had stopped breathing while doing the form.

early morning

Late late last night, before going to bed.
Starting at the beginning, waving hands in the air and turning to do the second movement, I felt a strong buzzing at the top of my head just above the crown. At that moment every movement in my body fel heavy/solid yet my body was moving itself. I was not thinking about the movement in particular, but noticing the strong buzzing feeling above my head. The movements flow and I am in the dance.
I get to [play guitar?] and my foot lifts in synch with arms as if they are one movement (which of course they are), so effortless. And tonight I feel that difficult movement has finally come. I watch myself and feel it move without even consciously knowing what movement I make. Still waiting for the last lesson to sink in though. i could not go that far last night.

Watch Me Please

Watch me, please.
Watch me, please.
Watch me, please.

The first time, I notice nothing. The film in my mind is blank – records nothing. The second time I am noticing feet movement, hand movement. Third time, I see the position of the trunk of the body, the movement that starts from there. I feel it in my own body.Got it.

Repeat each movement three times

Repeat each movement three times

Repeat each movement three times

On the third time I noticed a calf muscle stretch when I put weight on the back foot... Now that is new. At the same time I noticed the buzzing energy in the centre of the palms of my hands. Relaxing into the movement.

Placing my attention inward and into the core of the body,
I can feel my entire body move
like a large tree swaying its branches in the wind,
but with trunk firmly planted to the ground,
always holding upright.

Standing behind Master Lum, I try to connect with his chi. Try, but not try too hard. Like picking up fluff that’s blowing on the wind. Sometimes it sticks, sometimes it blows away. I know I have the connection when I am not watching him anymore, but feeling the movement in my body.

Standing behind Sharon, I know that I am not connecting. Just copying movements, and it feels strange and disjointed. I notice the activity happening in my brain and not in my body.

We get to the end of today’s session and I am exhausted and frustrated. It is going too fast for me and I want to start again from the last lesson and go over that again. In fact I want to go back to two lessions ago and do that one again – I still don’t think I have “got it”.